When You Break Up With Your Job | Lifestyle Post
I know it's been a few months since my last post, but there has been a lot of changes happening within the last couple of weeks. In the middle of June I went on a week long family vacation to the Cayman Islands, then within a week and a half after I got back, I was invited to interview for a new job, was offered the position, put in my 2 weeks notice to my employer and had Lasik done. I officially started my new job on July 16th and have spent the last week and a half acclimating to the new environment.
Between having Lasik and quitting my old job and starting my new job, I’ve had my hands full. But for someone who hates change and as much as I doubted this decision, I knew it was time for me to move on and that leaving my last job was the best decision I made for myself.
At my last job, I wasn’t excited or proud of the work I was producing and by the time the end of the day rolled around, I was left feeling burned out and stressed. I felt like I was stuck in this routine and I was doing the same things day in and day out. I was barely given any creative guideline aside from “make it pop or it looks sharp” and when I had complete creative freedom, my design would get ripped apart after the numerous revisions and the end result was a Frankenstein creation and poor reflection of my original concept. I was always told my opinion mattered because I was the expert, but when I did give my opinion it was always shot down so I stopped trying. And although I loved the company - once I had this feeling of complete failure, I knew it was time to find something that was a better match.
On July 2nd to the shock of everyone, I officially wrote and submitted my letter of resignation.
I've gone through this scenario a hundred times in my head, but nothing truly prepares you for the emotional impact leaving a job and co-workers behind can have and it made me realize that a professional breakup can be just as difficult as a personal one.
My first feelings of regret came on my last day as I was reading through the goodbye emails sent from various people throughout the company and the goodbye party planned at the end of the day. I realized how attached I’ve become with the people I’ve spent the last 4.5 years of my life with and how I would miss exchanging memes and funny anecdotes with them. This feeling of remorse, nostalgia and despair made me question my decision and I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I tried to push these feelings down because this was something I internally deliberated for months and I knew it was what I wanted.
When we choose to leave a job or even a relationship, the general idea is that we’re moving onto something bigger and better. The more I thought about it the more I wondered if companies with a strong workplace culture wind up making it harder for some to leave. The relationships between coworkers and friends gets a little tricky to distinguish when you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week together. It’s important to not allow work or workplace friends to form a basis for our identities and to remember that your co-workers are managing just fine.
Psychologist Lisa Orbe-Austin, who coaches clients on professional development, says she’s seen this issue repeatedly in her practice. “There is a definite blurring of the line between colleagues and friends, and those relationships can mirror friendships and relationships outside of the office,” she says. “This is why it’s so important to have friends outside of your work friends. If your whole life surrounds them, then if you leave, your social life goes with it.”
Ultimately, it’s the understanding that you’ll manage to find out who you are without that role and to let yourself go through the process of letting go. A new bright future is ahead of you and use this opportunity to gain clarity on what you want.